Wolf Songs For Lambs

Cold symptoms that threatened me all week finally came to a head on Saturday, so I went to the local pharmacy for some Suphedrine .  It’s amazing how much of a hassle it is to get nasal decongestant.  Because people use it to make meth in their garages, you can’t just pick the stuff from the shelves anymore.  You have to take a card from the aisle shelf and bring it to the prescription desk, since they now keep it behind the counter.  So, I stood in a line and listened to this exchange between an elderly lady in search of an inhaler and the pharmacist: 

Lady:  but this is the one I want (waving her old inhaler)

Pharmacist:  the company doesn’t make them anymore.  We have a similar model, but I have to call your doctor to verify.

Lady:  but this is the one I want (waving her old inhaler).  For 40 years….

Pharmacist:  I understand, but the company doesn’t make them anymore.  We have a similar model, but I have to call your doctor to verify…

Lady:  but this is the one I want (waving her old inhaler).  For 40 years I use. 

Pharmacist:  the company doesn’t make them anymore.  We have a similar model, but I have to call your doctor to verify…

Lady:  but this is the one I want (waving her old inhaler).  For 40 years I use.  I come here.

Pharmacist:  Yes, I understand, but the company doesn’t make them anymore.  We have a similar model, but I have to call your doctor to verify… 

On and on for ten minutes.  Finally I get to the counter, give the clerk the card, and she looks at me quizzically.  So I say stupidly, “I’d like these, please”.  And she says to me, “this isn’t a coupon, you know.”  And I say, “I KNOW it isn’t a coupon.  I just need you to get it”.  She finally gets the box of Suphedrine (the 48 pack because they don’t have the 24 pack) and asks for my drivers license so she can enter all my information into the computer.  And then I sign for it.  For COLD MEDICINE.  Jesus.